Selasa, 17 Disember 2013

Feels like a shit...

I kinda failing and started to falling down. Took a glance on a mirror and see my own image, I'm asking myself "what just happened to me?". I looked like a shit. Yeah, no kidding. It is me shitting around fucking everything out of my life. Started to think since when does this happen. I couldn't find the answer.

If I was an experiment, the result would be bad. I had dissapointed everyone who put so much hope in me and guess what, I kept dissapointing. I don't know what to do anymore. My life has been so much... I just don't know how to expressed it. Simply to say, my life has been fucked up. By whom? whos else, its by my ownself.

Here I am, confuse of what would I become. Right now I'm counting my days and I would be jobless. It doesn't suprise me when I felt that everybody around seems like to leave me. Heck, even my job doesn't want me anymore. I wonder when will my life gave up upon me.

I'm on the edge, deciding of what my next move would've be. Seems like jump off is the easiest and the best option so far. Then, I can enjoy that little time while I'm falling with happiness and no regret of the decision that I've made before I hit the very ground. The very dark bottom hard ground.

There were so many thoughts planted in my head. Pretty much about everything. My life, my family, my friend, my network and her. Don't let me start with her. Shes the one that kept my up and support me so much. Yet, I kept dissapointing her and let her down. I am bad. Was wrong and imperfect human being. Isn't that normal? but still, considering she would have better life without me. She had a bright future ahead of her. Never thought that I would've fit in that picture thought. Well, its not just her. So as everyone else around me. I'm just a burden. A weight that should've been ditched since theres no purpose of its existence.

I'm getting down. Deeper and deeper...

P/S: I'm wasted. Right? :/
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